Soundtrack...

the past 24 hours seem to have been tailor-made to complement a soundtrack comprised completely of songs by Ben Gibbard...


It started with a friend bonding moment that involved waxing poetic about The Postal Service and me pulling out my I-pod to allow my friend to re-discover "Such Great Heights" which she hadn't heard in years...And I was instantly reminiscing over the strong feelings this song brings to the fore of my memory...

"I am thinking it's a sign, that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned..."


Later, I was living a "Lightness" moment in regard to some information I received about a certain guy who has been wreaking havoc with my mind for the past six months. I have the closure I need...I hope he can somehow find his.

"Oh, instincts are misleading, you shouldn't think what you're feeling..."


The entirety of today was wrapped up in "Pity and Fear" and I'm SO GLAD that I get to leave town tomorrow...I need a break, and a chance to both recharge and reassess a LOT of stuff...Its a good thing that there will be no internet or cell service up in Lochcarron because my addiction to the web is definitely getting out of control...

"I have such envy for the stranger lying next to me...with no words, a clean escape, no promises or messes made..."


Now I'm in a "Its only a matter of time before we all burn" mood a la "Grapevine Fires"

I am definitely crashing and burning right now...I feel bad for what type of friend and human I have become in the past few months...I've been selfish and negative and have let myself physically and mentally become the type of person I hate...

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm still in a "pity and Fear" place as well...

"A storm at sea, bow cracked and I was capsizing, I sunk below where I swore I would never go, If you can't stand in place you can't tell who's walking away...who stays, who stays, who stays?"


Hopefully when I come home Sunday night I'll be in a "Brand New Colony" frame of mind thanks to friends and fun (and sleep)!

"I want to take you far from the cynics in this town...start a brand new colony where everything will change...the sun will heat the ground under our bare feet in this brand new colony...everything will change..."

Actually, if I'm hoping for things, I hope I'm in a more "Good Day Sunshine" frame of mind come March...

"I need to laugh, and when the sun is out, I've got something I can laugh about..."


p.s. Dar I love you...thanks for listening to me bitch for the past month...