...when someone who is supposed to be less capable of commitment than you falls into a fabulous, happy relationship...
I hate that! And although I AM happy for my friend, I can't help but feel like I have been left behind, again. Not left behind like discarded for something better, but left behind in the race to pull my life together...This person always seems to be a few steps ahead of me in life...but is only SLIGHTLY older than me. BLAH! Their firsts always came before my own...except for one, the moving-out-of-the-parents-for-the-first-time was mine...seems insignificant when I consider all the other things they have done before me...How childish do I sound right now?!?!
I have a splitting headache...cause unknown...possibly the lack of sleep last night, possibly the hours spent staring at a computer screen (at least I got SOME writing done today), possibly the sugar withdrawls from the detox...LOL!
Anyway...I am jealous. There, I said it. Or typed it rather...I'm jealous because I'm being left behind in the one area that I can't ever seem to catch up in. I'm pretty sure that I'm incapable of actually being attracted to or attracting anyone worth my time. I am probably some sort of asexual abnormality, capable of procreating alone. I now sound like a bad emo song...what the HELL is wrong with me today?!?! I blame the headache...
The one thing that REALLY annoys me is the fact that I am so competitive with this person...because we are far too alike...its a bit scary. This makes me want to run out and pick up a random Rugby player and make him my toy...But I must face facts. I am neither that whorish or that mean. Rugby would probably be an idiot and I would make him the chew toy for my verbal abuse due to said stupidity. Le sigh.
So I'm back to the theme for blog month..Want. I want to find someone who isn't intimidated by me. Does that man exist? If so, send his CV straight to my inbox. Thanks.
This is how I feel right now:
Angry Orangutan Funny Picture