February...

...is really a shat month. Have you ever noticed how the month of February is always the coldest, dreariest, and least pleasant month of the calendar? I wonder why that is...

I assume it is ONLY so dreary in the Northern Hemisphere...in the South, they are at the tail end of summer, soaking up the last of the rays before fall sets in next month...I wonder what that's like. Sometime I would like to go to South America during February to see how the other half live...Instead of chasing wealth, I'll chase the sun!

This also makes me wonder, if the reason behind so many quirks of February is the attempt of some poor schmuck to lighten the burden of FEbruary...the dragging tail end of winter, the sllloooooowwww final weeks before the return of the sun...

Think about it...Groundhog Day-the day Americans gather around a hole in the ground to see if some poor animal will see his own shadow or not...six more weeks of winter? Winter over? Oh! The dramatic build-up! Really...a shadow? doesn't the SUN determine whether a shadow is seen? And lets be honest, it can be sunny as hell and still as cold as a witches tit! But I suppose we can still dare to dream.

Valentines Day, the day of love...what better excuse for a holiday centered around creating a sense of love, companionship, and appreciation for the people we care about than a month where the mercury is permanently hovering around freezing?!?! Just slap a Saint's name on a day...give it a Pope's sanction, and there you go! The perfect mid-month break from monotony and depression (unless you are single and jaded...hehe) to remind us about INNER warmth..awwwww!

Mardi Gras-ok, this isn't exactly the same, Its just the final party before Lent forces the good Souls into abstinance until Easter...But perhaps by giving up your vice, you can focus on how much you miss Wine instead of how much you miss the Summer...Smart Catholics...And Mardi Gras...who cares about the temp when you're three sheets to the wind?

Lastly, the 28 day month...WHERE did that come from?!?! Yes, you might say something about the Romans and their calculations of the planetary orbit blah blah...but they COULD have just shortened January and March into 30 day months, giving February 2 extra days...talk about lack of equality! UNLESS those smart Romans KNEW that February was bound to be shit no matter what, and they wanted to give hope to the masses that they only had to live through 28 days of nasty until March rode in on its White Horse, with spring in its saddle bag!


<3 Happy February!